Contact and Questions

Lost? Confused? Can't make a purchase? 

This is definitely not the place to be. But since you're here, you may as well read the Q&A below to pass the time. 

I don't have a Paypal account, how do I make a purchase?

You don't need a Paypal account to make a purchase. We also offer a credit card purchase option through Stripe.

I don't have a Paypal account or a credit card. How do I make a purchase?

Easy! You ask someone you know who has a credit card to make a purchase for you.  You do know someone with a credit card.  Sit with them by the computer as they make the transaction and hand them the cold hard cash when the final amount comes up. They won't say "no". 

When will I receive my products?

Patience is a virtue, and with anything related to GISHWHES, it always takes longer than you expect. Waiting and expecting are all of the fun. Haven't you learned that yet? Once you do something or receive something or learn something, it is over. Process, not results, young Grasshopper! We expect the gnomes to ship out orders within a week of your order being placed.

I don't see the country I would like to ship to in my shipping options. How do I ship to my address?

Our Schwag Shwop is highly intelligent (the Gish Gnomes fed it lots of turnip smoothies) and can tell what country you reside and automatically redirects you either to our US or International site. If you are traveling or purchasing for a friend in another country please email the gnomes at and they'll be happy to help you place your order.

When will the Shwop close?

Whenever Misha feels like it, but we'll warn you.

I absolutely need to get in contact with you! But please be nice. There's so much evil and hate in the world already...